cbselementaryfandomcom-20200216-history
Fidelity/Transcript
Sherlock Holmes: Your clock's broken, Mr. Gephardt. That is what I'm supposed to call you, isn't it? Agent Anson Gephardt: It is my name. Holmes: Well, you work for Defense Intelligence. I, I just thought that um, an agency that makes the CIA look like the model of transparency might've furnished you with an alias. Gephardt: Mmm. Once upon a time. I'm just an analyst now. Holmes: You're guilty of at least two murders here in the States, and I think you might be responsible for two in London. All of your victims are connected to the 2014 trial of Eli Kotite. So, why, why kill them now? Gephardt: Take a look around, Mr. Holmes. Anything jump out? Holmes: Well, as I mentioned, there's the clock. It ticks off a full hour every 44 minutes. Sitting here in the precise center of the room means all of my words echo. The corners in the floors have been painted in such a way as to warp perspective, and this water, it's clean, but a benign, bitter flavorant has been added to provoke paranoia. Gephardt: You're every bit as perceptive as they say. So I wonder, do you really think you're here to question me? Holmes: Force of habit, interrogating murderers. You know what they say. The best defense is a good offense. Gephardt: Only there is no defense for what I could do to you. Getting that idea into that big brain of yours, that's why you're here. Holmes: Is that true, gentlemen? You've given your man carte blanche to... Gephardt: See? Nobody's watching. Nobody's listening either. You can trust me on that because if they were, I probably wouldn't admit to you that you're exactly right about what I've done. But as I was saying, I didn't bring you here to kill you. Holmes: Well, I'd really like to get going, so do you think you could hasten to deliver your message? Gephardt: Your investigation into the Kotite murders, it's going to stop. You're meddling in matters of national security. Holmes: You'll have to be a little more specific. At least four people have been murdered, and I'm not one for vague assurances from the intelligence community. Gephardt: Hmm. Well, you'll make an exception this time. Holmes: Or I can be number five? Gephardt: I don't make unnecessary bodies. In your case, I can just walk into a FISA court. Holmes: You'll tie me to my father. Gephardt: Mm-hmm. Morland Holmes is a busy man. Smuggling uranium ore out of Kazakhstan, bribing regulators in Manila. Recently, he's taken some sort of interest in the Hans Tausen ice cap. I doubt you know any of his business. But that doesn't mean you can't be made a permanent guest in one of our less comfortable facilities. And you can rest assured, the playbook there goes quite a bit further than scented water and echoes. Holmes: Well, that's it, then. You're not gonna answer for your crimes. Gephardt: The past is past, Mr. Holmes. I'd urge you to think about your future. Joan Watson: Are you okay? Holmes: Uh, yeah. I'm uh, I'm famished and I'm parched, and I need the facilities in the worst way. Watson: But you got all your fingernails. Holmes: I take it you and Kitty weren't rumbled? Watson: No, I checked her and the baby into a hotel last night. Nobody came for us. So what happened last night? I mean, who the hell snatches someone from their home and then just dumps them in broad daylight like this? Holmes: Agents of the American government. But you'll be pleased to hear all but one of them were acting in good faith on bad information. Up until now, I hadn't been hurt at all during this ordeal. Could you just gnaw it off? Watson: Okay. So you said "all but one." Holmes: I met our killer. His name is Anson Gephardt, and apparently he's quite senior at the Defense Intelligence Agency. Watson: You think he's guilty because he matches your sketch? Holmes: I think he's guilty because he confessed to the murders. He also said that if we continue to press, he will link me to my father's latest misdeeds, amongst other degradations. Watson: So now what? Holmes: An American spy has a murderous obsession with a three-year-old vehicular homicide which took place in London. So after I use the toilet, I'm going to ignore his instructions, and I'm gonna find out why. Kitty Winter: Watson? Watson, I got your text! Watson: Hey. Kitty: Either your taste in music has really changed, or you think this place is bugged. Watson: I just finished my second sweep. Kitty: And? Watson: It's all clear. Kitty: Made this himself, did he? Watson: Can you believe that's volume three of six? Kitty: Right. Now that you're sure no one's listening, do you want to tell me why the U.S. government declared war on you last night? I don't get it. What does an American intelligence officer care about a British vehicular manslaughter case from three years ago? Why kill four people over it? Watson: Well, that's what Sherlock is trying to figure out. He went down to the precinct a few hours ago, just in case our walls had ears. Unfortunately, we have not been able to find out a lot about Anson Gephardt, except that he is a Middle Eastern affairs analyst and has strong feelings about Iran. Kitty: Good ones or bad? Watson: We were able to track down an intelligence report he wrote. He called their government, and I'm quoting here, "The most evil regime in existence." Kitty: Bad, then. Watson: Oh, we didn't get to talk last night about Sherlock meeting Archie. How'd it go? Kitty: We were interrupted when Eli Kotite called. Sherlock left to meet him straightaway. Watson: So you didn't get to tell him you were quitting. That's okay. I mean, there's no rush, right? What did Sherlock think about Archie? Kitty: He didn't say. But he looked like I'd just brought a ten-pound spider into his home. Watson: Come on. Kitty: Ten-pound spider, Watson. Watson: Look, Sherlock is a grouch, okay? Nobody knows that better than me. You were nervous about telling him about everything else, so you read into it. Of course he's happy for you. Kitty: Well, I'm gonna take your word on that, because Archie and Margaret and I suddenly find ourselves in need of a place to stay. The owners of the house I rented saw the damage that you and Margaret did. They want us out. Watson: It's Sherlock. He wants us to meet him at the precinct. Holmes: I've got good news. Kitty: Do tell. Holmes: After a thorough reexamination of Eli Kotite's London trial, there were no surprises. Everything was exactly as you and I thought it was three years ago. An American civilian struck a British civilian with his car. We did not accidentally send an innocent man to prison for a crime which was really committed by the DIA. Also, as far as I was able to discern, none of the recent murder victims have any ties to the DIA or any similar groups around the globe. Watson: So, in other words, you don't have anything. Holmes: No. I have a theory. Neither the facts of Kotite's case nor the outcome of his trial seem to be a motivating factor in the deaths here or in London. So what remains? The players. The magistrate, the defendant, the defense attorney, the prosecutor. The time they spent together in a London court. What if something occurred over the course of Kotite's trial which made them all witnesses? Something unrelated to Kotite's prosecution, but very related to the activities of a clandestine group like the DIA? Watson: Like what? Holmes: Perhaps they were all in the same corridor when an operative paid off a magistrate in another trial. Perhaps the agency committed one of their murders that don't look like murders under everyone's noses. The possibilities, I'm afraid, are endless. But the gist is this, Kotite and the others were in the wrong place at the wrong time, seeing or hearing something which, three years hence, required their assassinations. Kitty: Okay, so, short of building a time machine, how do we figure out what that something might be? Holmes: I've reached out to some friends at Scotland Yard, asked them to dig up records of what was going on in and around the court at the time of Kotite's trial. In the meantime, I suggest we approach one of the two local parties which might be able to shed some light. Watson: I'm guessing Cy Durning's widow is one of them. Who's the other? Holmes: Farrell & Putnam, the so-called "Death Star" law firm which Kotite hired to defend him. They've got offices all over the world, including here in New York. So, while I pop in on them, you and Kitty go and visit the widow Durning. This is her address. Watson: Why don't you take Kitty? I know you two have a lot to catch up on. Kitty: I'm surprised we got a meeting with the managing partner so easily. Holmes: Well, I didn't identify myself as Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective, but rather Sherlock Holmes, son of Morland. He and a firm like this could do great, evil things together. Kitty: About last night... Holmes: He is beautiful. Your son. Archibald. Very happy for you. Kitty: Thank you. Holmes: I suppose you'll be getting out of the detecting game. Kitty: I'd ask you how you knew that, but you're you. Holmes: You wouldn't be the first person to shift priorities after parenthood. Kitty: You're not disappointed? Holmes: Do I look disappointed? Kitty: No. No, you look angry. Receptionist: Mr. Holmes? Mr. Garber will see you now. Sydney Garber: So, if I'm following you, you think four people connected to Eli Kotite's trial in London, including Mr. Kotite himself, have been murdered by a government agency? Holmes: Well, when you put it like that, it does sound quite mad. Garber: Is there any other way to put it? Kitty: No, there isn't. Garber: I'm sorry. There's no way I can give you the files you're looking for. Anything and everything we have that pertains to Mr. Kotite's trial is protected by attorney-client privilege. Holmes: He's dead now, as is the man who defended him, Tom Saunders, your colleague, your partner at this firm. Two months ago, his daughter found him in his kitchen in Mayfair with a gun in his hand and his brains on the wall. Now, if we're right and someone else pulled the trigger, don't you want to see justice done on his behalf? Garber: Tom Saunders was a hell of a lot more than my colleague, okay? He was my friend. But this theory of yours, you don't have any proof. Kitty: You don't find it the least bit odd that someone dug up one of the victim's bodies and set fire to it the other day? Garber: Actually, I find it incredibly odd. Kitty: Then give us the files we want. Garber: I swear to God, if Tom weren't dead, I'd think he came up with all this. Holmes: Now, what do you mean by that? Garber: He was a paranoid schizophrenic. Kitty: That didn't come up in any of our research. Garber: Well, of course it didn't. It was the best kept secret at the firm. When he was on his meds, he was one of the finest legal minds on the planet. When he was off them well, let's just say he was prone to outbursts. Holmes: What kind of outbursts? Garber: Ranting, raving. "The Russians are talking to me through my television." That sort of thing. I'm telling you, when he wasn't taking care of himself, he was capable of anything. Including putting a gun in his mouth and pulling the trigger. Kate Durning: Sorry. I want to be helpful, but Cy prosecuted so many cases. The Kotite trial was big. People in England followed it very closely. And while that was them, Cy was Cy. He didn't like to bring his work home with him. Watson: Well, did he ever mention anything out of the ordinary? Kate: To the best of my recollection, no. But remember, Cy was British. A pack of wild dogs could've run right through the courtroom, and he might've kept it to himself. You said you think he might have been killed because of something he saw or heard around the courthouse back then. Watson: Mm-hmm. Kate: Whatever it was, do you think it might have happened during the trial itself? Uh, the proceedings, I mean. Inside the courtroom. Watson: Sure, it's possible. Kate: There's something you should see. A few years ago, when Cy and I first started talking about retirement, please, he was apprehensive. He knew it was the right time, but he was worried that he'd go stir-crazy. So he decided to write a book. Cut to the big day. He hangs up his wig, moves to New Jersey, we settle in here, and to his utter shock, he likes retirement. Whole book thing falls away. It was gonna be a "how to" about opening and closing arguments. Composing the right one for the right jury, delivering it effectively. He wanted to write from experience. So, in his last few years as a prosecutor, he started recording all of his court appearances on microcassette. It's not entirely legal, in case you're wondering. These are the tapes of his prosecution of Eli Kotite. Would you like to listen to them? Margaret: Oh. I think I think this one is dead. Kitty: Actually, they're all dead. Sherlock uses that to recreate crime scenes. This one Archie's playing with drowned in the bathtub. And this one in the kitchen dined on arsenic. That mess on the floor is doll vomit. Watson: Hey. Where's Sherlock? Kitty: He's gone back to the precinct to get what he's working on. Is there something wrong? Watson: Where did you get that from? Margaret: A trunk in the guest room. Why? Watson: No reason. There's just, like, a 50/50 chance that's a Victorian sex toy. Margaret: Ooh, ooh. Watson: Come on, you've got to hear this. Watson: So the next voice you're gonna hear is Tom Saunders. He's the attorney who defended Eli Kotite. Tom Saunders (recording): No. I object, My Lord. Magistrate (recording): To what, Mr. Saunders? Mr. Saunders, you said you object. Saunders (recording): I do, to all of it. Magistrate (recording): All of it? Saunders (recording): The snail's pace of these proceedings, for one thing. My client, Mr. Kotite, is a busy man, he deserves better. Magistrate (recording): Mr. Saunders... Saunders (recording): My Lord, the government's case is packed to the gills with second hand whispers and hearsay. That might be less objectionable if they had the first clue who to listen to. Maybe then, they would know about the Chinese astronauts watching us through our phones. They'd know you can't flush 50 pounds of cyclonite down the oldest toilet in Caracas and expect Venezuelan democracy to survive. And you yourself, My Lord, might know how much gold is buried under the Great Pyramid of Giza if you would just listen to the voices that are all around... Kitty: We spoke to a colleague of Saunders today. He said that Saunders suffered from schizophrenia. Watson: Obviously, he was off his meds the day this was recorded. Kitty: Okay, so we can prove now that Saunders wasn't a well man. How does that help us? Watson: All those theories he rattled off, Chinese astronauts, cyclonite, the Great Pyramid of Giza. Kitty: Yeah? Watson: I'm pretty sure one of them is true. I think that's why the DIA's been going around killing people. Saunders (recording): ...they would know about the Chinese astronauts watching us through our phones. They'd know you can't flush 50 pounds of cyclonite down the oldest toilet in Caracas and expect Venezuelan democracy to survive. And you yourself, My Lord, might know how much gold is buried under the Great Pyramid of Giza if you would just listen to the voices that are all around us! Magistrate (recording): Mr. Saunders... Kitty: Clearly, the attorney we spoke to was right; his friend was a nutter. Watson: And yet Something he just said has to be worth killing over, because listen... Saunders (recording): My Lord, I will be heard! Magistrate (recording): That's it. We're adjourned for the day. Ms. Perth, are you all right? Watson: That's Cheryl Perth he's checking on. She was a substitute stenographer at the courthouse. I went over all the tapes from the trial. Now, every day but this one, when the magistrate wanted the transcript read back, he asked a stenographer named Donna Reiter. But she was out sick the day Saunders went off the rails. Look at this. It ran in a British paper three weeks ago. Holmes: "Cheryl Perth, beloved wife and mother, died Sunday in Glastonbury, the victim of a sudden stroke." Kitty: Meanwhile, Donna Reiter is alive and well. Cheryl Perth filled in the one day Saunders spilled a secret worth killing over. Watson: We're lucky that Saunders melted down during a pre-trial hearing. If there had been a jury, they'd all be dead, too. I know it sounds crazy, but something about Chinese astronauts, Venezuelan toilet bombs, or gold under the pyramids has gotten everyone killed. We just have to figure out what it was. Holmes: That's no mystery. It was the Venezuelan toilet bomb. Watson: "Library Blast Kills 36 in Caracas on Eve of Election." Holmes: You can be forgiven for missing this story. We were working around the clock to prove Kotite's guilt when this bomb detonated two days ago. He clearly heard about it, though. Watson: You think that's why Kotite called you the other night. He realized why everyone from his trial was dying. Kitty: It says here that the president of Venezuela was at a gala in the historic National Library Building when 50 pounds of cyclonite leveled half the place. Tom Saunders was raving about that exact kind and amount of explosive three years ago. Watson: "The blast is thought to have originated in a men's restroom." What was it that Saunders said? "The oldest toilet in Caracas." Holmes: I can't vouch for the age of the toilet, but I will defer to the schizophrenic who's been right about absolutely everything else. Almost makes me want to dig for gold in Giza. Kitty: Somehow, he knew about a bombing three years before it happened. He was raving about it during Eli Kotite's trial, which sealed the fates of everyone who heard him. The murders that happened here in the U.S. and in England were part of a cover-up. Holmes: Kotite rang two hours after the news of this hit the wire. Five minutes later, he hit the roof of his van. If he hadn't done, we'd have been much further up the field days ago. Watson: Okay, I have like, 900 questions, but I'll start with the big one. What does this have to do with Anson Gephardt? Holmes: This looks like more of his handiwork. The bombing can best be described as a bloody piece of political theater. As Kitty mentioned, the president of Venezuela was almost included in the body count. Emphasis on almost. Kitty: You think he was in on it? Holmes: Tom Saunders said that this bomb would "destroy democracy in Venezuela." In a way, he was right. Look. The failed attempt on the president's life swung the polls. Kitty: He's been unpopular for years. You think he won reelection thanks to the sympathy vote? Holmes: It didn't hurt. And it also helped that he could blame the bombing on his competitor. The cyclonite was traced to Colombian rebels who support the opposition. Kitty: All right, I'm convinced. I'm also utterly flummoxed. How the hell did a London barrister know about a fake assassination attempt in Venezuela three years before it happened? Holmes: Saunders was based in London, but his law firm, Farrell & Putnam, are a global concern. They represent corporations all over the world. Kitty: So? Holmes: Anson Gephardt clearly went rogue a long time ago. He couldn't use proper DIA channels to influence this election, so I submit that he persuaded one of Saunders' corporate clients to help him. Watson: Why does a Middle Eastern affairs analyst care about Venezuela? Holmes: That's a good question, but it's not the question. I'd like to know which of Farrell & Putnam's clients was so keen to keep President Orozco in power that they decided to grease the skids with blood. Kitty: What's your plan? You gonna go knocking on the doors of CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, asking if they were accessories to mass murder? Holmes: We're gonna darken one doorway, and there won't be any knocking. Holmes: Anything promising back there? Watson: I had high hopes for the two energy firms, but to be honest, it looks like they'd both benefit from a regime change in Venezuela. I kind of doubt they're the ones working with Gephardt. Holmes: My money was on Taradex Chemical. Their uh, contracts certainly reinforce the impression that they are an evil squid with their arms wrapped tightly around the globe, but alas, no ties to Caracas. Watson: Some early riser is gonna wander in here soon. Why don't you move on to food processing giants and I'll look at the airlines? So I heard you and Kitty talked. Holmes: We did. What? Watson: Well, she told me you seemed unhappy. I had a hard time believing that, but now I don't. You want to tell me what gives? Holmes: Nothing gives. Watson: Really? Holmes: Gosh, you're all the same. Watson: What, women? Holmes: Protegees. Watson: You're leaving? Holmes: Oh, yeah. Uh, found what we're looking for. Holmes: Margaret was right. You went out for groceries at 5:00 in the morning. Kitty: Archie's ready to try solids. All you had in the fridge was Bismarck herring. Holmes: Oh, that'd put hairs on his chest. You should see this. Kitty: Actually, there's something you should see first. We have some admirers. There's a couple of buzz cuts camped out in a blue SUV down the block. Watson: Yeah, we saw them, too, coming back from our errand. You have to wonder what Gephardt is telling his bosses so he can get DIA resources to monitor us. Kitty: It's a bit creepy, isn't it? Trying to solve a mess of murder under the watch of the killer's henchmen. Holmes: Indeed. If Gephardt doesn't land in a cell soon, I expect I will. Kitty: You said you had something to show me. Have you found which of Farrell & Putnam's corporate clients was in on the Venezuela plot? Holmes: Yes. None of them. Watson: This is a draft of an import agreement. Bronco Foods striking a deal to buy cocoa by the ton. But take a look at the handwritten note in the margin. Kitty: "Revise in light of 3/12/17." That's the date of the bombing in Caracas. Watson: On a contract signed three years ago. Kitty: So whichever lawyer signed this knew as much as Tom Saunders about what Gephardt was planning. Watson: It's not often the person we're looking for literally signs his work, but Sydney Garber did. Take a close look at the threes. Perfect match. Kitty: Well, that explains why he was so quick to dismiss the idea that Saunders was murdered. Holmes: Yes, but it doesn't explain why a rogue DIA analyst was in cahoots with two white-shoe attorneys in the first place. Hoping Mr. Garber will be more forthcoming on that topic today. Kitty: Somehow I doubt he'll be as eager to meet us as yesterday. Holmes: You two will manage. Watson: What, you're not coming? Holmes: I would love to, but that would be tipping our hand to the two stooges watching our front door. Before you go and see Garber, I will let them tail me to New Haven. There's a Pride parade there today. If I hurry, my two new friends and I could march in it. Garber: If Watkins is handling that brief, it's gonna need a rewrite. Make sure you're looking over his shoulder. Uh, thanks Jonathan. I'll call after lunch if I need anything else. This is a surprise, Ms. Winter. Who's your friend? Kitty: Joan Watson. She's here to make sure I don't beat you too soundly if you lie to me again. Garber: You sound confused. I'd be happy to set you straight, but I don't have any openings in my schedule today, ladies. Call for an appointment next time. Kitty: Tom Saunders knew about a Venezuelan bombing three years before it happened. And so did you. Garber: You're trespassing now. We're not doing this. Gentlemen, care to do your jobs? Watson: Get down! Garber: What? Kitty: You're welcome. Garber: Thanks. I'm guessing you played soccer? Kitty: I think you mean "football." Garber: Yeah, I do. Holmes: Yes, because Miss Winter's foot devastated your testicles. Very funny, yes. Now, we could either continue with the double entendres, or you could tell us your role in Anson Gephardt's plot. Garber: Well, I told these two, I'll tell you everything. It's probably the only way I stay alive, now that Anson's sending hit men after me. When I was in law school, I had a roommate. His name was Alberto Seijas. He was from Venezuela. We were close. After we graduated, I stayed in New York, he went home. All these years later, I'm me, and he's the head of Venezuelan intelligence. Gephardt approached me three years ago. Said he wanted some files from Alberto. I said, "Okay, I'll put you in touch." He said, "You don't understand. These files, they're special. There's gonna have to be a negotiation, and you're gonna handle it for me." Watson: What did these files contain? Garner: Everything. Holmes: What do you mean, everything? Garner: Have any of you ever heard of the Fidel Files? Holmes: A legendary trove of intelligence, 50 years in the making. Everything the Castros ever shared with their communist allies in the region. Your friend had access? garner: Gephardt called it the white whale of the intelligence community. Everybody wanted it, nobody could get it. The stuff in those files, it's supposed to be gold. Kitty: So you brokered a deal between Gephardt and your old flatmate. The former wanted the files, the latter wanted a bomb to go off at a gala in Caracas to help his boss, El Presidente. What was Tom Saunders' role? Garner: I didn't know from spies. I didn't know if helping Gephardt was the right thing. So I asked Tom for advice. Obviously, that was a mistake, because the very next time he went off his meds... Kitty: He blabbed about the whole thing to a roomful of people. Garner: And I told Gephardt. He told me not to worry about it, the bomb thing might never happen. "It's a fluid situation," he said. "Years are gonna pass." Obviously, they liked their original plan, because a bomb went off two days ago. Couple of hours later, I got an e-mail from Alberto. A big one. Watson: He sent you the files. Garner: And I sent them to Gephardt. Next day, you came to see me and said you thought Tom and the others were actually murdered. I didn't know what to believe, so I called Gephardt. He told me I had nothing to worry about. I was an asset of extreme value. Obviously, that was a load of bull. Captain Gregson: You buying all this? Holmes: As a matter of fact, I am. Garner: If you don't believe me, there's a USB drive on my key chain. Plug it into your computer and open it. Gregson: Why? What's on it? Garner: The Fidel Files. Every document, every photograph, every video. I made a copy before I handed it over to Gephardt. You'll know everything he knows. Kitty: Most of these file names are in Spanish, but that doesn't prove they're the Fidel Files. Holmes: We'll have to look at them. When Gephardt and I had our chat, he made it quite clear that his superiors were not aware of his efforts. He and he alone was making plans to act on these files. If we can work out how... Watson: We may be able to figure out where he'll strike next. Detective Bell: Just got a hit on our Finest Message. Patrol found a motorcycle fitting the description of the one the shooter used in that garage. No sign of the driver, but thought one of you might want to come with me to take a look. Watson: I'll go. You guys dig into the files. I'll let you know if we find anything. Bell: So unis talked to a mailman who saw the shooter park the motorcycle, pull off his helmet, get into a black sedan that drove off. But he didn't see the guy's face or the license plate on the sedan. Still, sounds like a DIA op, right? One of Gephardt's men shot up that garage, another picked him up right here. Watson: Actually, I think Gephardt pulled the trigger himself. See these hairs? They're dyed red, just like the ones inside the backhoe that Gephardt used to dig up that grave. Bell: It's the Captain. Said Gephardt just sent a message. Watson: What, to the police? Bell: No, to everyone. Gephardt (video): Hello, my name is Anson Gephardt. I work for the Defense Intelligence Agency. I'm speaking to you from Jakarta. Three years ago, I set in motion events that would deliver into American hands a collection of files representing an unprecedented trove of intelligence. To guarantee this outcome, I have taken lives, here and abroad. Now, some will brand my actions excessive or overzealous. But let me assure you, what I did had to be done. The information in these files is that important. And that's why I'm providing a link below that will grant access to a digital copy of the files to anyone who wants to read them. I did not intend for my story to end this way. I did not plan to reveal myself to you, but recent events have forced my hand. I now believe it's for the best. You now know where these files came from, and you understand their significance. Here's to a better, safer America for all of us. Bell: By recent events, he's got to mean failing to kill Sydney Garber in that garage this morning. Watson: He knew Sydney was gonna help us expose him, so he beat us to the punch. Bell: He didn't just beat us to the punch, he crushed us. His video's only been up an hour, he's already got over a million hits. Watson: He said he was in Jakarta. To travel to Indonesia from New York would take at least a day. Now, if we're right, and he was the one on the motorcycle, there's no way he's in Indonesia. He may still even be in New York. Bell: If he is, he doesn't know that we know he lied about his location. That might give us a leg up. Kitty: I suppose it's interesting that an American president had an affair with a Chinese opera singer, but is it startling? Holmes: Might be to the two men's families. But I take your point. Not all the Fidel Files are winners. Some of the intelligence is too old to be of any use to anyone. I've been focusing my attention on the information that was added in the last decade. I think you'd be wise to do the same. Kitty: Would I? You said we should dig into the files to see if they could help us figure out Gephardt's next move, but he's made his next move. Put the files online. Holmes: Do you really think he's finished? Kitty: I don't know if he's finished. I just, are the files really the best way to find him? He gave them to literally everyone. Would he really have done that if there was a clue in them as to his whereabouts? Maybe they're just an excellent way of avoiding talking to me. Holmes: Oh, for goodness' sake. Kitty: No! You are unhappy because I've decided to stop being a detective. I get it. But can we please move on? Holmes: We've been over this. I'm not unhappy. I accept and, more importantly, I understand your decision. Kitty: Rubbish! You've been frosty with me ever since you met Archie. I'm not an idiot. But do you know, if, if being a detective is the only way to be your friend, then fine, you and I are done. Holmes: Well, thank you for letting me know this time. That's quite unlike you. Kitty: Excuse me? Holmes: The last time that you left, it wasn't made clear to me that our friendship had run its course. It took me two years to work that out. Kitty: What are you talking about? Holmes: Two years. Two years, not a single word from you. I mean, you couldn't even be troubled to send a simple e-mail to let me know you were okay. I don't mind whether you're a detective or not. The only thing I want, the only thing I've ever wanted, was for you to be happy. Against all the odds, it happened. You didn't tell me. Kitty: Two years ago, I was on the run. I'd just tortured and disfigured a man. If the authorities were looking for me, I didn't want you to have to lie about where I was. Holmes: Do you really think that would've been hard for me? To lie to protect a friend? I've been asking myself what I could've done differently, if I could've done anything better. Friendship has never come that easily to me. I thought that what we had was, was meaningful. Kitty: It was. It is. Holmes: I mean, you made a person, Kitty, and you didn't tell me. Cable News Anchor: Pentagon officials say... Kitty: Sherlock... Holmes: Shh, listen. Anchor: Arguably, the most troubling piece of Intel in the files was this video, which is alleged proof that Iran has a secret nuclear weapons program. Kitty: I don't remember that bit about Iran in the files. Holmes: Of course you don't, 'cause it isn't there. More precisely, it isn't in our copy. Kitty: What? Holmes: Our copy of the Fidel Files came from Sydney Garber. Theirs came from Anson Gephardt. Kitty: He added a file. Holmes: Now we know why a Middle Eastern affairs specialist got up to so much trouble in Venezuela. He wants the U.S. to go to war with Iran. Watson: This isn't good. Kitty: That depends on your perspective. If you sell tanks, today beats Christmas. Newscast: Kami. Anchor: That word you hear there, "kami," we dug that bit of audio out of the digital file. Kami is a Farsi word meaning, "Just a little." Perhaps a reference to how much enriched uranium it takes to make that nuclear weapon you see there. Marianne Lacosta is joining us now from the Pentagon. Marianne, what's the mood there? And how are people reacting to what appears to be a flagrant violation of several treaties Iran has... Holmes: I'd say the mood here was tense, Denise. A multitrillion-dollar war machine is lurching towards a bloody showdown with an unstable theocratic regime, based on farcical intelligence. Watson: Are you saying that, or is Marianne the reporter saying that? Holmes: I'm saying it. I'm the only one saying it. We're the only people who know that this tape's a fake. Watson: Wait, you know the video is fake? Holmes: I strongly suspect. Anson Gephardt is a Middle Eastern affairs specialist with a 30-year career in military intelligence behind him. He knows better than anyone how to falsify such a thing, but consider the context. Kitty: He's a war hawk with a bee up his bum about the government in Tehran. And that video wasn't on the USB drive that Sydney Garber gave us. Watson: Gephardt added it to the Fidel Files himself? Holmes: It's what he had in mind all along. That's why he was so keen to get his hands on the files. Kitty: They're a Trojan horse. Watson: If he had posted this online by itself, there'd be a million questions about whether it was real, where it came from. Kitty: People would just say he filmed it in his basement, but now the shoe's on the other foot. You've got to prove it isn't real. Everything else in the Fidel Files is. Watson: Well, the news has certainly latched onto it. Holmes: The Fidel Files are juicy, there's nothing like a war to attract eyeballs. But I still think we can depress their ratings. Watson: I'd say the cat's out of the bag. Kitty: Cat's fake. Watson: You said it yourself, you can't prove it. Holmes: I know someone who can. Anson Gephardt has absurdly bought himself a great deal of credibility on this topic. If he copped to the tape being his creation, the cat from the bag would be dead. I'm not sure how to pry such an admission out of a murderous ideologue, but step one is certainly finding him. Watson: Actually, I don't think that step's gonna be a problem. Anchor: This was a coordinated effort by the FBI and DIA. Anson Gephardt is now engaged in a standoff with federal authorities from those two agencies at his mother's home in Riverdale, New York. Watson: What's step two? Gregson: Well, then you find your boss and I'll yell at him. This should've been our scene. FBI Agent #1: Just wait here. Gregson: You got here fast. Kitty: Really? Looks to me like we're late. Gregson: Jurisdictional mess. We were out of the loop. FBI's blaming DIA for trying to grab him on the sly like this. They came in undermanned. This just ended a minute ago. Watson: Anyone hurt? Gregson: Gephardt took two in the shoulder. He was standing too close to that window there. EMTs are tending to him now. Holmes: We need to get in there and talk to him now. Gregson: Maybe you didn't understand. This isn't our scene. They're gonna whisk him out of here, and we're never gonna see him again. Holmes: He needs to confess as soon as possible. Gregson: He did, on tape to the whole world, remember? Holmes: He confessed to multiple murders and terrorism. He forged a video which could start World War Three. Just get me in there. I'll, I'll explain. Gephardt: Hey, looks like you're gonna get your stuff back. Holmes: Gallows humor. If you don't come clean, you will need that. Gephardt: I don't expect a parade, but I did my country a service. I showed them the truth. Holmes: You sold them a hoax. The Iran tape is a forgery. Gephardt: Now, who's gonna believe that? Holmes: Walk it back. Spare a needless war. Might even save your own life. Gregson: Just give him a minute! FBI Agent #2: Hey, hey, you're not authorized to be here. Holmes: Tell them. Gephardt: I'll tell them nothing, Mr. Holmes. I'm a patriot. I always will be. FBI Agent #2: Get out now. You two, roll him, hospital. Gregson: Look, we're gonna put five murders on this guy. My people deserve a chance. FBI Agent #2: There are bigger fish to fry. Now you guys got to give us the room. Holmes: This house have a cellar? Agent Dean McNally: Heard about the new 'do. Holmes: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Makes me wonder what else the NSA has heard recently. You're gonna feign ignorance? You chose this spot to meet, not a hundred yards away from where the DIA dumped me three days ago. McNally: I just like the burrito truck up the street. You said you had proof the Iranian nuclear tape is a fraud. Holmes: Dispositive evidence, material and visual. Anyone with half a brain is gonna be able to tell that Gephardt made that tape himself in his mother's basement. McNally: Like, he was planning an invasion of Iran, and she was upstairs making him a grilled cheese? Holmes: If it sounds outlandish, pay the woman a visit. Meet her dog, a yappy spaniel named Kammie. No one was saying "Just a little" in Farsi in the background on that tape. It wasn't an Iranian nuclear scientist referencing how much enriched uranium they were using. It was Gephardt's mother, beckoning her pet in another part of the house. McNally: Oh, come on. You don't think that's funny? Holmes: Well, I might, if the cable news commentariat weren't pimping this bizarre puppet show. How do you feel about Iran? McNally: That's irrelevant. You should be asking how I feel about the truth. Holmes: In case you're just telling me what I want to hear, you should know identical dossiers have been sent to the NYPD, the FBI, and MI6 and a couple of media outfits that I hold in relatively limited contempt. McNally: We're on your team, Holmes. Wish you could see his face when we confront him with this. Holmes: Where is he being held? McNally: Good to see you, Holmes. Holmes: Scheduled an exorcism? Is it for you or me? Kitty: Sit down, will you? I have been thinking about everything that you said last night. Holmes: Yes? Kitty: You were right. When I went back to London, it was really hard. I knew I'd come a really long way in New York, and then, all of a sudden, my entire support system was gone. So, I did what I thought you would do. I threw myself into the work. I took every case that came my way. I practically haunted Scotland Yard looking for ways I could help people. And then, strangest thing happened. I realized that I didn't need it. There were other ways I could help people. All that weight I used to heft about the place, all that darkness, was gone. I felt like myself again. The truth is, Sherlock, that I'd been thinking about giving up detective work a long time before Archie came along. I just didn't know how to tell you. I felt fixed, but I knew that well, I knew that you didn't, so I just kept it to myself. Then before I knew it, months had passed, and then a year and then, who knows? If Anson Gephardt hadn't started killing people, then perhaps we never would've seen each other again. You deserve much better than that. Holmes: I told you before you left you'd always be my friend. Kitty: See, that's the thing, isn't it? We're not friends, we never were. We're family. Come inside, will you? Kitty: Archie's being christened today. I've never been much of a churchgoer, but I thought this was a good way to make it official. The family thing. You, me and Watson. Holmes: You want us to be godparents. Kitty: If you're not too busy, yeah. That way, we'd have to stay in touch, wouldn't we? For Archie's sake. Holmes: Would you believe I've, I've never been a godparent before? Kitty: Don't take this the wrong way, but, yeah, I would. Holmes: I, is there something I'm supposed to do? Recite a prayer or something? Kitty: Come on. We'll figure it out together. Category:Transcripts